Green Loc-Tite: Or, Learning to Be Less Efficient.

It's almost 9 pm. I'm tired. My feet are reminding me that they still aren't used to being confined in socks and shoes all day. My hands are dry, and there's still grease under my fingernails. Eight hours at work today, most of them in the parts room or shop, and how good it feels to have actually accomplished some really concrete tasks today (and to have marked hours on a timesheet). I must head to bed soon: tomorrow will be an even longer day, particularly if I work in the evening as well. I won't complain though: I like my jobs, and after two weeks of hanging out at home, I'm thankful to have something to keep me busy.

And laughing.

I've worked in the parts room at my dad's shop often enough. In the fall, I was the one to receive and stock each day's inventory; I've pulled and shipped many an order. I did some of that today, too (the shipping, not receiving). While Clarence welcomed me back with the suggestion that I go sweep the roof of the shop (this will likely remain at the bottom of my to do list forever), Dave quickly handed off a few invoices to pack and ship. Including one to Canada - which meant I got to jump right back into not only the regular aspects of shipping, but also customs and commodities declarations! I remembered most of what to do, and he walked me through the rest of it once again.

But the biggest lesson of the day came when Clarence and Kevin and John put me to work pressing bushings and bearings into pulleys. For the non-mechanically inclined among my readers, this basically means that I was inserting small metal pieces into larger metal pieces, which will eventually (tomorrow!) be connected to other pieces to become large mechanical equipment. The pieces fit together very tightly, so I had to use a press. The first batch went fine: two bushings per pulley until I ran out, and then we ordered more.

And because I had done so well, the guys decided I should do some more. But this next batch was a bit different, so we added a couple steps to the process. Now, instead of just setting a bushing into the pulley and using the press to push it in, I would be smearing a bearing with green loc-tite, using the press to push it level with the edge of a (different-shaped) pulley, then using a rod with the press to push it into the middle of the pulley. Trust me, the steps are easy enough when you see them done.

Now, this "green loc-tite" stuff was obviously held in high regard: that much was obvious from the way the guys talked about it. Reading the label, I learned that it was supposed to "augment" the connection between two pieces of metal. But I wasn't told, nor did I quite figure out until (much) later, how it did this. Maybe it should have been obvious from the name; perhaps, in the midst of remembering and learning so much, my brain wasn't functioning at quite it's fullest speed. Regardless, when I began my task, I hadn't yet learned to respect green loc-tite nearly as much as it deserved.

There were three shelves of pulleys, but not nearly enough bearings. For the first group, John had given me 24 bearings, which I was to fit into 24 pulleys. He had demonstrated on one, but I didn't see any reason to do them individually, so I set myself up with a nice little assembly line on the receiving table. I opened 24 boxes, then removed 24 bearings from their plastic wrappers. Wearing gloves - at John's demand - I smeared green loc-tite on each one and paired it with a pulley. Then, I used the press to push each bearing level with the pulley. 24 presses: so far, so good.

But then, disaster struck.

Just as John had, I set the rod in the first bearing and stuck it under the press again. I pulled down, and, nothing. All my strength couldn't budge the bearing any deeper into the pulley. I readjusted the press - a few times - with the same result. I tried a different pulley: still no luck. Thinking there was something wrong with the press, I paged Kevin, the Shop Manager, to the parts room. He couldn't get the press to move the bearing either. But, being far better acquainted with green loc-tite than I, he quickly recognized the problem.

Green loc-tite is like super glue - only superior. It sets fast and solid. To unstick something which has been stuck with green loc-tite apparently requires heating to a very high temperature.

By trying to be more efficient with my assembly line style, I had created a problem on par with the sticking power of green loc-tite. I was horrified. We don't stock cheap parts, and I thought for sure that I had ruined these pulleys and would never be allowed near anything mechanical - or sticky - again.

A couple more guys got involved, mostly laughing at my predicament. Clarence, however, knew how to solve such a problem. Taking one of my super-stuck pulleys and the press rod, he led me out to the shop - and to the hydraulic press. Warning me never to pull the press when my hand was near or under it, he quickly proved its power: this press was more than able to push the bearing solidly into the pulley. I breathed a sigh of relief (maybe a few) and went to fetch my other 23 stuck pulleys.

The story ends happily: I finished the rest of the pulleys (including another 20 or so from each of the other shelves) using the hydraulic press and didn't have any trouble; I learned to respect green loc-tite as much as any of the guys; and the frequent retelling of this story throughout the afternoon to various employees and vendors provided much comic relief.

Moral: Efficiency isn't always a virtue, particularly in the presence of almighty green loc-tite.