Speaking Tall English

The first time they met me, a mere few days after I had arrived in Uganda, other teachers from my school were quite concerned about whether I could possibly teach their students. It wasn't my teaching qualifications they were concerned about, nor my lack of experience teaching in a traditional education system. Instead, it was my strange American accent that caused them so much anxiety. As we struggled to communicate, pardon, pardon, they feared that my students would certainly never manage to pick (understand) anything I would try to say.
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My first few weeks in Bukoto focused on trying to learn not only Luganda, but also Ugandan English. My speech slowed down, and I attempted to trade my Americanisms for Lugandacised English. I remember spending an afternoon doing my best to pronounce "cow" correctly... to the grand hilarity of my host sisters. I remember being really confused for a few minutes the first time someone talked to me about a "blain"... before I realised they meant "brain." Slowly but surely, I learnt to speak English "not properly," to the consternation of a man who hoped that I would transform the grammar and pronunciations of my students rather than the other way around.
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When school started, my students and I managed to get along fairly well. The learning process continued. I learnt to say the alphabet correctly, pronouncing "g" like "guitar" and ending with "zed." I learnt to use those same soft "g"s in words like vegetable and vegetation. I learnt to pronounce the "qui" in mosquito and squirrel like "kwee." I learnt to say "revise" instead of study, to start "evening" later, and to "foot" to school rather than walk.
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A few months later, talking to my family on the phone one night, one of my younger sisters commented that I had started to speak "tall English." It was her attempt to describe the changes in my accent, in my pronunciation, and, to some extent, in my vocabulary.
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Fast forward a few months. The occasional Americanism does still pop up in my speech. Recently, sitting with some teacher friends, I commented about the temperature, that it wasn't very "hot" that day. They looked at me in some confusion, so I repeated myself. It wasn't very "hot." It was some minutes later, after multiple attempts on both sides to make sense of what I had just said, that we connected. I had pronounced "hot" with a short "o," as I had learnt to say it as a child. They heard "hat," which is here pronounced with a short "a," a bit like that in "father." Why was I using a term about headwear when I wanted to discuss temperature? Why hadn't I just said "hot" with the proper hard "o" (like in "code")? It was a staff room joke all week!
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Now, as I prepare to soon return to the states, it should be interesting to see how long my accent lasts and how often I confuse the people I communicate with. So, as a way to prepare us all for those interactions, let me present a short primer of Ugandan English.
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--Somehow is used in place of terms like somewhat, kind of, sort of. As in, "I feel somewhat okay."
--Revise means to study. As in, "When we come to school, we begin revising our books."
--Smart does not refer to intelligence, but rather to beauty and proper dressing. As in, "You are quite smart today, Aunt."
--Designing is used to describe how someone has put together an outfit, i.e. it refers to fashion. As in, "You should get full marks for designing today."
--PLE is the short form of Primary Leaving Examinations, the national exams that students must pass to obtain a primary school certificate. As in, "Primary seven candidates will sit for their PLE in November."
--Food does not refer to just anything that can be eaten, but only to carbohydrates. Sauce and soup refer to what is eaten with food. As in, "Our staple food is matooke and our common sauces are beans and groundnuts."
--Best is not only the superlative of good, but also a synonym for favourite. As in, "Mawerere's best subject is English."
--Uncle is a term used for the male relatives in your mother's family. The female relatives in your mother's family are not aunts, but mother and grandmother. Likewise, aunt is used for female relatives in your father's family. The male relatives, however, are fathers and grandfathers. As in, "Keith is my younger father because he is the younger brother of my father."
--Sweet means delicious or tasting good. As in, "The tomato sauce was very sweet tonight."
--Beeping and flashing refer to the act of letting the phone ring only one time, often because the caller lacks airtime, as a way of requesting someone to call you back. As in, "People who always beep annoy me quite a lot."
--Cooking, as often as not, refers to stoking and blowing on a fire. It requires a good set of lungs.
--Digging is a term which describes all agricultural activities. As in, "Students have gone to dig in the school garden."
--Rain does not refer to any simple drizzle, but only to those heavy deluges which might remind Americans of hurricanes or tropical storms. As in, "I fear to move in the rain."
--Appreciating means expressing gratitude, often for having been thanked by someone else. As in, "Thank you for appreciating."

I look forward to all the opportunities for communication--and miscommunication--that the next few months will surely provide. Perhaps we will all learn more about ourselves and what is important to us in the process. Regardless, it should offer many opportunities for laughter and connection.

And please bear with me when I slip into tall English... or even Luganda.