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But, like many things that weigh so heavily on my heart, I have not previously been able to express my thoughts. I want to write well, to be eloquent and insightful, to do the story justice, but still I fear that I will fail this task. Perhaps it will be enough simply to call your attention to the story. Some of you who read are familiar with the history of the conflict between the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) and the Ugandan government; indeed, some of you are far more familiar with it than I, so please do not judge too harshly my attempt to shed some light for those who are not.
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The current leader of the movement, Joseph Kony, seeks to overthrow the government of Uganda, particularly the presidency of Yoweri Museveni; he theoretically desires to rule the country by the ten commandments. The conflict is complicated and cannot be attributed entirely to ethnicity, religion, or politics. It has been ongoing on decades, originally starting in northern Uganda, and currently smoldering on in eastern DRC and southern Sudan. The LRA became internationally infamous for its many human rights violations and its practice of conscripting abducted children as rebel soldiers and sexual slaves. For many years, ordinary people lived in fear of the rebels who would seemingly kill or maim on Kony's whim as well as of the late night abductions which would fill the ranks with new children forced to carry out atrocious violence simply to preserve their own lives. Stories reached the western world of children and adults crowding into commercial centres nightly for increased safety from the rebels, of whole villages slaughtered, of rape and disfiguring wounds.
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Years of military offensives and almost signed peace agreements have still not brought Kony and his men out of the bush, though northern Uganda currently experiences what a friend of mine describes as "relative calm." A number of the children once abducted by the rebels (often abducted children themselves) have escaped over the years and returned "home," though
not without deep physical and emotional scars. Even those never abducted still bear the heavy burden of years spent in internal displacement camps, where they traded a traditional agrarian culture for an overcrowded dependence on foreign aid in the name of physical safety. Escapees, both boys and girls, the latter of whom often return pregnant or with young children, carry with them the trauma of torture and violence, not only that wreaked on them, but also that which they were forced to conduct. In her book, de Temmerman shares stories of some of the returned children. She writes,
"There were no limits to the rebels' sadism and cruelty. All means were used to dehumanise these children. Some had been forced to hack their parents to death with an axe in the presence of other relatives. Others had to stab their school's headmaster and then sit on the body, or dip their hands in the victim's blood and eat with blood on their hands." (p.142)
For children returning with the guilt of violence forced upon them, there has often been the added burden of suspicion and rejection by the communities they return to. In addition to their emotional trauma, years of education and innocence have been torn from them.
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Today, a large number of religious and secular organisations, including multiple MCC partners, work to help all those affected by the conflict--whether former abductees, victims of violence, or families beginning to return home from IDP (internally displaced persons) camps--start to rebuild their lives. Others continue to advocate for an end to the conflict, seeking to facilitate the peace process between Uganda and the LRA, which has been further complicated by renewed military offensives, an ICC warrant against Kony, and LRA action in not only Uganda, but also southern Sudan and the DRC. In early December 2008, many Ugandans celebrated when the government declared "Operation Lightening Thunder," a joint offensive against the LRA by the military forces of Uganda, Sudan, and DRC, to have been a success. Our MCC team, on the other hand, grieved the renewed reliance on violence and the many deaths of women and children certainly reflected in that assessment. By the holidays, Kony had his revenge; villages were wiped out and children were abducted from eastern DRC.
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In the midst of all of this history and suffering, I attended the ceremony at St Mary's in October 2008, joining with school staff, parents of abducted children, returned abductees, and the members of many organisations committed to working for peace and healing in the north. I remember little of the ceremony--speeches from local politicians and ngos; prayers offered
by Sisters, students, parents, and community members; and a short pilgrimage tracing the path that students took on the night they were abducted from their dormitories. Prayers were offered for healing of emotional, societal, and physical wounds; for wise leadership; for a successful outcome of the peace process; for abducted children still living in the bush; for those who have returned; for the families of children long since reported dead.
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Still new to Uganda, and traveling to the north for the first time, I was somewhat disoriented and overwhelmed, hence my lack of memories about many details of the event. Additionally, and I still find myself feeling this way today, I don't always know how to respond or what to do in the face of so much suffering and pain, particularly when I encounter it outside personal relationship. I read de Temmerman's book in a single weekend, and then could barely sleep for over a week. My heart was heavy with the pain of people and children I have never met; my mind could not even begin to make sense of the evil that has perpetrated and continued this violence; and my dreams were filled with images of blood, horror, and a man who could initiate it all.
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What should we, the rest of humanity, do in the face of such evil? How should we pray? It cannot be enough simply to hear these stories from afar, though their telling allows us to realise more deeply the pain and suffering these people have lived through. We cannot each travel to the northern districts to provide relief or even loving presence to those who live in them, and neither would it be our place to do so. We have no direct hand in the peace process or national and international decisions about how to respond to conflict.
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Prayer is always an option, an avenue to transform us as much as anything else. But what do we pray? What words can be uttered in the face of paralysing violence and pain? What to say to a God who seems so quiet? Honestly, I do not know. I do not know how the Sisters chose their words, how the children and parents continue to pray after so many years. For me, I pray with every breath I take, hoping for the transformation of the world, for the end of violence and conflict and suffering, for the embodiment of love and compassion and graciousness. I pray for my own ability to love and care and be present for those who have experienced trauma beyond anything I can personally imagine.
And these words of scripture arise again into my consciousness,
Thus says YHWH:
A voice is heard in Ramah,
lamentation and bitter weeping.
Rachel is weeping for her children;
she refuses to be comforted for her children,
because they are no more.
Thus says YHWH:
Keep your voice from weeping,
and your eyes from tears;
for there is a reward for your work,
says YHWH:
they shall come back from
the land of the enemy;
there is hope for your future,
says YHWH:
your children shall
come back to their own country.
--Jeremiah 31:15-17
God of peace. God of justice. God of compassion.
God, hear our prayer.
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God who looks upon widow and orphan,
who cares for the refugee and the alien,
who demands justice and grace,
who promises to make things right again.
God, hear our prayer.
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God of the broken-hearted and the suffering.
God of the wounded and the grieving.
God, hear our prayer.
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God who forgives.
God who restores.
God who renews.
God who envisions peace between all living and non-living creatures.
God, hear our prayer.
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Righteous God. Holy God.
Angry God.
God, hear our prayer.
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God, hear our prayer.
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God, be present in suffering.
God, be silent no more.
God, be active in turning back evil.
God, hear our prayer.
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