Consider this my alternate route...

"Long term traffic patterns. Exits 191-196. Consider taking an alternative route."

I spent quite a few hours on the interstate this weekend. Up and back to visit family in NY, past the Soccer and Baseball Hall of Fames (neither of which I have ever actually gone to, despite having driven past them both too many times to count), and through many miles of construction. What should normally be about a 4.5 hour trip ended up taking about 6 hours (each way!). Not much fun... but lots of time to think.

The message above kept flashing up on signs beside the road as I drove (both directions). There were a couple other sections of construction as well that were pretty bad. For awhile, I played a game to see how long I could go without touching my gas pedal... I was averaging 5 mph and had to brake occasionally... but I forgot to look at the clock, so I don't know exactly how long it was (at least a mile or two!). You know those electronic signs that say, "Speed Limit: 45mph. Your Speed: 12mph." I think they're designed to remind you to slow down... after all, traffic had sped up by that point. I just laughed at them. But anyhow, the construction signs suggested more than once that I consider taking an alternate route around certain areas with sluggish traffic. Only, I don't actually know any alternate routes that far north in PA... and traffic was actually moving at a decent clip when the signs first appeared. Since I never managed to concoct an alternate route, I got to spend quite a bit of time staring at the backs of tractor trailers, tapping my brakes every once in awhile (so as not to hit said backs of tractor trailers), and thinking.

I think that sign could be considered a metaphor for my life. Looking back to my pre-collegiate days, I'm pretty sure I had things planned out. Or at least, I had a 4 year plan that included planning for the years to follow college. I had an idea of the kind of work I'd like to do upon graduating. College was the "next thing" to do after high school and then, well, certainly things would fall into place in an adult sort of way. The road seemed pretty straight and smooth. There were some turns on the horizon, but the directions I'd printed off the internet (or had derived from many well-meaning advice-givers) didn't give me much cause for concern.

And yet, here I find myself, four years later, less certain of my future plans than ever I was when I started college. I have a degree, but when I think about pursuing graduate education, it is for a radically different field of study. My worldview has been broadened by forays into unknown philosophical venues. My compassion has deepened as I have surveyed... and looked into the eyes of... the world's greatest needs. My sense of my own identity has morphed, guided by the gentle concern and abrupt truths of close friends and mentors.

As I prepare to leave for Uganda (my flight takes off a month from today), I realize that my life has taken an alternate route. This isn't what I had planned (or what I had planned to plan). Committing to spend a year living in a community and teaching an as yet undetermined variety of subjects in an East African village school -- these aren't exactly the kinds of things people typically do post-graduation. This summer, I've watched as countless friends prepare to start graduate studies. I've dodged the bouquet at multiple weddings (and played a part in numerous other pre-wedding festivities). My peers are buying houses, renting apartments, moving to new areas, making long-term plans, getting jobs that won't end with the school bells in autumn... and I am attempting to figure out how long and short a year really is. I can't really make plans for when I return, though this isn't to say I haven't thought about trying. Will I come back next July or sometime the following year? Who will I be when I return? Will the shock of returning to American culture (which already fits like an itchy sweater) keep me from being able to get a job or return to school?

Where will the next turns in the road lead me? I don't really know. But this I do know. Despite the fact that my path is curvier and slower than so many others, I'm starting to like it. Because sometimes, driving slow (really slow) lets me discover more about my surroundings... and my self. So, consider yourself warned, I'll be taking the alternate route from here on out.