The future looms high, a blanker slate than I've seen in a very long time. At this point, I know where I'm planning to be living a few months from now, but really, I have no idea what I'll be doing. As I start to apply for jobs and contemplate the possibility of graduate school, I have high hopes - but also more than a little fear. It is exciting to think of walking unknown paths, in part because they are likely to hold both joy and sorrow, blessings and frustrations.
In a couple months, I will be starting again - again. New place, new people, new job (hopefully), new routine and rhythm of life. As I navigate yet another transitional space, I find my mind naturally contemplating my own identity - and my vocation. I think about who I am and who I want to be, and I am drawn ever more to writings that reflect those thoughts and challenge my imagination.
Below, two pieces which have been floating in my mind today.
The first, a quote that I heard at a church service this morning. My immediate response, after hearing it, was to wonder what currently developing, formerly colonised country the speaker was from.
"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us walk together."--Lila Watson, Aboriginal activist.
And the second, quite possibly one of my favourite poems, which was posted at the Reconcilers blog this morning. Written by Wendell Berry, it captivates my thinking anew every time I hear it. It is the last line I have been contemplating most today: the mandate to "Practise resurrection." It is, I do believe, the most perplexing line in the poem, in part because "resurrection" is a concept foreign to my daily existence. But there it stands, the closing line, as if to summarise all the rest, calling the phoenix to rise from the ashes and beckoning light into dark places.
Manifesto:
The Mad Farmer Liberation Front
by Wendell Berry
Love the quick profit, the annual raise, vacation with pay.
Want more of everything ready-made.
Be afraid to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery anymore.
Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something,
they will call you.
When they want you to die for profit,
they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something that won't compute.
Love the Lord. Love the world.
Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace the flag.
Hope to live in that free republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot understand.
Praise ignorance,
for what man has not encountered, he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium.
Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested when they have rotted into mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear close,
and hear the faint chattering of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world.
Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable.
Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap for power,
please women more than men.
Ask yourself:
will this satisfy a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head in her lap.
Swear allegiance to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict
the motions of your mind,
lose it.
Leave it as a sign to mark the false trail,
the way you didn't go.
Be like the fox who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.
4 comments:
Kris,
I find myself starting over every single day. The biggest struggle is keeping Faith that God will provide a path for us, even if we don't know it. You are quite an incredible person and I have no doubt that when you start over (again again... :o)...) he will provide to you the best that he can.
Chin up, friend!
*hugs*
I spent several years in a comfort zone of my own making professionally. I finally reached out and have found more peace and happiness than I have ever had through my work. I pray that your journey leads you to a peaceful place.
Practice Resurrection - so interesting that you bring this up as it was just the subject of a long discussion between Mateo and I. We decided to donate money to two charities that we think best are practicing resurrection as a little Easter experiment. Curious to hear your input about what you would vote for....
It is a struggle to trust that a path is unfolding. Even as I remind undergraduates that vocational journeys make sense, often, only as we look back, I find myself in solidarity with their desire to see a clearly future path.
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